Cruise Lowdown

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Virgin shuns the 'C' word!

…’Cruise’ that is!

Can you imagine what it’s like to have your wildest fantasies come true? To have the unthinkable become a reality? That’s exactly what has happened to me over the past few weeks.

When I was planning my blog I started visualising an imaginary reader, one who was reluctant to cruise (you are much better than I could ever have dreamt btw). I imagined what would entice them to try a cruise for the first time and after a few cocktails to oil the cogs, my ideas were beginning to freewheel.

Think Outside the box

My Fantasy Cruise Ship

Ok let’s start by making it adults only - ALL the time! Hmm not too radical - what if we added some really ultra cool public spaces?

What about scrapping all tipping and penny-pinching? Make ALL restaurants FREE!! Chuck in free soft drinks, water, coffee even without a drinks package? Ooh, I know - let’s get rid of fixed dining times and venues - eat anywhere, at any time, with anyone; and while we’re at it, forget about getting trussed up like a chicken on formal nights. In fact let’s not even have formal nights. Now, entertainment…what about big name musicians or an occasional pop/rock gig? Or maybe some ‘alternative’ entertainment to mix it up a bit?

Right what else?  Hmm how about making it all a bit more healthy - complimentary fitness classes; ooh and free yoga (I hate having to pay extra to get up at the crack of dawn - isn’t it enough that I’ve found the willpower?). Oh and what about a jogging track where you don’t collide with those going for a stroll (that would be me actually) or worse still, bump into sunbeds (again, guilty as charged).  More vegetarian options - loads of people were disappointed about the lack of ‘free-from’ on my last cruise.

And personal grooming? Spa obviously but what about something for those hipsters out there, like a barbers to keep those fabulous beards in shape, or a tatoo parlour - OK ENOUGH - now I’m just talking plain crazy!

Or am I….

When Dreams Become a Reality

Image: Virgin Voyages

When I read what Virgin Voyages have planned for us, I couldn’t quite believe it.  All of the above…and much, much more.  And yes, there is going to be an onboard skin art studio (Squid Ink) offering tattooing, permanent makeup and body piercing; plus a male grooming barbers shop called Stubble and Groom.  Not only that but, shock horror, there is rumoured to be a topless sunbathing area in the Crows Nest and a resident banjo-playing drag queen hosting brunches! Additionally, THE Mark Ronson has been revealed as the founding DJ  of  the residen-sea (can’t take credit for that pun - its in the blurb) at Virgin Voyages’ private Bimini Beach Club. More about that in a future post.

Don’t Use the ‘C’ Word

Virgin Voyages are determined to turn the industry on its head, and in a move to distance themselves from the traditional idea of seafaring, you will not find a mention of “cruise” anywhere in their marketing materials (other than one instance which has been crossed out on their home page, in an effort to emphasise the point).  Passengers are called ‘Sailors’, crew are called - well crew actually.  But any other nautical references are few and far between.  The ‘C’ word is definitely taboo - and to be fair, this isn’t going to be like any cruise we’ve been on before, and personally  I CANNOT WAIT!

Image: Virgin Voyages

Updates

Since writing this, my first Virgin Voyages in April 2019. More exciting details have been revealed.
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